The Choices We Make
by Inclemisticcharms
Summary: Remus had everything he could ever ask for, a best friend, a caring lover, but what happens when it's slowly slipping through his fingers. What happens when he must chose between the two? Can he survive it? RL/SS


A/N: I have moved this story from one account to this one because my girlfriend insists upon torturing herself with reading this. So here you are.

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Remus was sick and tired and they had driven him to do what he was minutes away from doing. They would not come for him, both too caught up in their loathing of one another to notice their supposed love was about to disappear from their lives forever.

It would solve everything. Take him out of this complicated equation and the problem ceases to exist. He climbed the last steps of his final destination; memories flooding over him. Apparently fate had a sense of humor, cruel humor at that. This was the spot where Severus, his lover of five months first kissed him. He stopped, allowing the memory to seize control of his mind, and transport him back to a simpler, happier time.

-----Flashback-----

Remus was walking up the stone steps of the astronomy tower stairwell. The height seemed daunting to him, but the night sky always seemed so peaceful, so tranquil. The stars were shining low in the sky; they were the colors of crisp autumn gold. Remus often felt that he could reach out and grab one.

Not lingering on such feminine thoughts, he opened the old wooden door. His nose was raped by a sudden piquant odor. He looked up to see Severus bent over a cauldron. Severus had accio'd it there several weeks ago. Remus had come to him, begging the Slytherin to tutor him in potions, he grudgingly agreed if only to stop his incessant nagging. Since then they had kindled a friendship, often talking of school and classes and the stupid things muggles tend to do, but Remus couldn't help but want more than friendship.

"Hey Remus, you're early." Severus commented as Remus came up to stand beside him.

"I was in the common room by myself, it gets terribly boring. What are you doing here this early Severus" Remus asked smiling at his friend.

"I had to make preparations for our lessons tonight." He gestured one long, piano-figured hand to the bubbling cauldron in front of him.

"And what are we making tonight?" Remus asked curiously.

"A simple wart removal potion; can you hand me my Potions Text please?" He pointed to the decrepit looking book to the left of Remus. He picked it up and handed it to Severus, their fingers touching. Both boys blushed faintly, and Severus looked away. Remus didn't know where his courage had suddenly come from, but he cupped Severus' face and lifted his chin so their eyes met, black to gold. _Quite like the night sky_, Remus mused. Severus starred at him, searching his eyes for some sort of trickery, he found none as Remus' eye lids fluttered closed and he touched his lips to Severus' thus starting their loving, and defiantly passionate relationship.

-----End of Flashback-----

Yes it seemed fate had a vindictive sense of humor. It's a shame their perfect world came crashing down around them, the wrecking ball to their euphoria came in the form of Remus' best friend, Sirius Black. Sirius was a Gryffindor like Remus, and they shared a dorm, which irked Severus to no end.

Sirius and Severus had hated each other from the time they first met. Remus could only guess at the reason, he supposed it was because they, at first glance, were complete and total opposites. Sirius was a Gryffindor through and through, he was wild, loud, spontaneous, and rambunctious. He had no problem with dragging you away from whatever it was you were doing and make you search the castle and grounds with him, sometimes his Gryffindor DNA got a bit carried away and they ventured into the forest. Severus however was a Slytherin to his core, calm, silky and aloof. He always took your opinion into account when making plans or doing something involving more than one person. He'd take slow walks down by the lake if only just too talk and he almost always refused the simplest of broom rides. He wasn't one of those people who could just jump right into something, whereas Sirius was quite impulsive.

If you had gotten to know each of them in turn, like Remus had, you would be able to tell that they were not so different after all. They were both stubborn and set in their ways; they practically said the same things to Remus. They were both so intelligent and funny, not that either of them would acknowledge this in the other, but Remus could see it.

All their problems started when Remus made a fatal error, telling Severus Sirius fancied him.

-----Flashback-----

Remus was in the Gryffindor common room, doing his transfiguration homework; well he was actually just killing time until he could sneak out to see Severus. He'd have to wait for his entire dorm to go to sleep; they were still keeping their relationship a secret after all. When he thought they were all asleep he stood, and packed his schoolwork into his bag preparing to leave.

"Hey Remus!" Sirius called from the alcove overlooking the common room. Remus jumped, startled, and turned.

"You're the only person I know who would yell my name in an empty common room," Remus said snickering, as Sirius descended the stairs leading to the dorms.

"Well I wanted to talk to you before you snuck off to the library again. Sometimes I think you have someone there waiting for you."Remus flushed a bit. He'd told Sirius he was gay, if only to lessen the blow when he told him he was dating Severus.

"Ok I have a little time," he said as he sat back down on the couch in front of the roaring fireplace. "What's up?" Sirius sighed and flopped down next to him.

"Remus, I was thinking, since you and I are so much alike -and we get along really well- I was wondering if you'd like to go out with me." Remus' eyes bulged.

_Oh shit, _he thought,_ now I'll have to tell him about Severus, I was really rather hoping to gently lean into telling him, but nothing like blunt honesty_. Remus snapped out of his thoughts knowing Sirius was waiting for an answer. "Sirius I'm flattered but I can't."

"Why?" You're single; I'm single, what's stopping us?" Sirius asked confused, there was no mistaking the hurt in his voice.

"I'm seeing someone," he said quietly, not looking Sirius in the eye. Oh no, he wasn't ashamed of Severus, he loved him, but he just didn't know how the ever explosive Sirius Black would react to this piece of news.

"Whom?"

"Severus Snape," he mumbled and Sirius gaped, but soon composed himself.

"Oh, does he treat you well?" There was a quiet reserve to his voice, almost a coldness, and it startled Remus.

"Very well," Remus answered a small smile gracing his lips.

"Then I'll tolerate him, but only for your sake, I just don't trust Slytherins," he said darkly, then seemed to snap back to his old self. "I assume you're going to see him now?" Remus nodded, "well have fun mate, but not too much fun we don't want to have to come scrape you off the ceiling if you know what I mean. " He winked causing Remus to blush at the completely correct insinuation. Sirius stood and left the common room, and Remus left through the portrait hole.

He met up with Severus; once again in the astronomy tower. He greeted him with a chaste kiss. "What kept you love?" Severus purred, wrapping his arms around his lover.

"Sirius asked me out," he said bluntly. Severus instantly recoiled and removed his arms from Remus' waist; he turned away from the Gryffindor.

"I didn't realize he was gay, what brought this on?"

Remus could sense that Severus was upset; he walked towards him and wrapped his arms around him from behind. "I told him about us Severus. He was alright with it, in fact," he kissed a trail on the exposed skin of Severus' neck, "he told me to have _fun_." Severus blushed and turned around their lips crashing together and each of their separate thoughts of Sirius were forgotten.

For now.

---End of Flashback----

He entered the small room, no table stood in the center as it once had. The smell of potions had long since drifted away. The only clue that there had been tutoring going on was the upturned caldron in the back corner of the room, dusty and forgotten. There was a huge ledge surrounded by battlements, he walked over and put his hand on one, feeling the cold, rough stone. He looked up into the night sky, and was disappointed to find that it was cloudy, no stars, and no moon to enlighten his fall from grace.

Both Sirius and Severus had their problems, as does everyone. Sirius had actually planned on committing suicide. _Funny, _Remus thought ruefully, _how the tables have turned. _Remus often couldn't blame Sirius, his life was horrible: parents who didn't love him, a life filled with disappointment, scorn, and unfulfilled expectations, but sometimes he just thought Sirius was being rash and naïve.

Severus had a ghastly life as well, born to a poor family, living in the muggle world because of a father who couldn't accept him or his mother, being beaten whenever he went home by his drunken blow-heart father, while his mother sat helpless to stop her husband and help her only son.

What Sirius went through often paled in comparison to the horrors Severus had to endure. He remembered a time when he found his lover, broken and sobbing in the Potions classroom.

----Flashback----

Remus descended the dungeon stairwell, heading towards to Slytherin common room, He would never actual enter the treacherous Snake's Pit, but he often waited for Severus to come out for their first class of the day. He walked past Slughorn's classroom, and thought he heard a sob, and a pathetic sniffle. He went to the door and pressed his ear to the uneven wood. He confirmed his suspicions, someone in that room was crying. He opened the door cautiously, knowing that any Slytherin in the room would not welcome the comfort from a Gryffindor. He gaped at the person in front of him. Severus, his Severus, was crying, his body hunched over, and his shoulders shaking. His silver tears dripped into the bubbling cauldron, making it hiss when the salty liquid made contact with the licorice-colored substance.

"Severus," Remus cooed. Severus' head snapped up, and he quickly wiped away the tears rolling down his cheeks. He tried hard to compose himself, but was failing miserably. As Remus entered the room fully, and got a closer look at Severus he saw that he a split lip, a very bruised and bloodied eye, and nose. "Severus!" Remus said again he quickly was at Severus' side. He grabbed a chair and ordered Severus to sit. "Severus what happened? Who did this to you?!"

Severus' shoulders started to shake with repressed sobs, and when he spoke his voice was hoarse, and obviously worn from crying, or screaming… "I'm so weak," he said bitterly, wiping the freshly fallen tears harshly from his face.

Remus tried a different approach to try and figure out what exactly happened. "What were you trying to make love?" Remus rubbed his lover's still quivering shoulders and kissed the top of his head soothingly.

"Dittany for my face and ribs," he choked out, "but my sodding eye prevents me from seeing what I'm doing; I put the wrong ingredient in," he growled through clenched teeth.

"Severus who did-"

"My stupid, buggering, drunken, bastard of a father!" Severus screamed, standing up and toppling the chair. He walked over to the potion still seething. "I'm so pathetic! I can't even make a simple potion without fucking it up! My father was right, I'm such a fuckwit!"

Remus walked up behind the Slytherin and placed his hand tenderly on his shoulder not wanting to startle him. "You're not pathetic, and you're certainly not a fuckwit. Your arsehole of a father needs to pay for what he's done to you." Remus' soft voice slowly turned into a growl until his eyes were molten gold. Severus starred at Remus then cracked a small smile, and Remus' anger deflated instantly.

"My hero," Severus chuckled kissing Remus, careful not to touch their noses together. "Now will you please help me with this potion so I can kiss you properly?" Remus nodded and they set to work.

---End of Flashback---

Sirius never came back to Hogwarts with bruises or cuts, no; his problems were with words and glares. A sword can cut your heart out with one swift movement, but words can slowly stop it, but which was worse? Remus surely couldn't tell.

Sirius often ranted about his parents, and Remus having kind, loving parents himself, never understood all of Sirius' pain.

---Flashback----

"Just because I got into Gryffindor I'm dead in her eyes, but Regulus, oh darling Regulus is king now. She makes me so mad!" Sirius shouted, pacing wildly. Remus could only nod. "She is so degrading! She just makes me want to kill myself all the more!"

Remus' head snapped up at the mention of his "plans". Sirius had been suicidal for some time now, actually making several attempts. "Sirius, don't give your mother the satisfaction; besides, I'd be devastated."

Sirius softened some and sat down next to Remus. "I know you'd be devastated, but you would eventually move on." There was a sort of bitterness to his tone that Remus couldn't quite place.

"You seem to be under the delusion that I can forget you Sirius Black."

"Well I'm not that important." Remus shook his head.

"Nonsense," he said hugging his best friend. "You're very important."

Sirius smiled, "Thanks Mooney, you don't know how much this means to me."

---End of Flashback---

Perhaps he'd been a little too affectionate, but he could tell it's what Sirius needed, and after all he thought of him only as a brother, and someone who needed taking care of.

Severus however didn't see it like that, as he said on many occasions.

---Flashback---

Severus and Remus collapsed on Severus' bed, completely spent. It was a Hogsmeade weekend, but Severus and Remus decided they had the heavenly kindness of Severus' entire dorm being gone, and they took advantage of it. Remus cuddled up to Severus, resting his head on his chest. Severus wrapped his arms around his lover.

"I love you," Severus said kissing the top of his head.

"I love you too," Remus said smiling.

"I love you more," he said in a cute, joking manner.

"Whatever helps you sleep at night love," Remus said with the same infliction.

"You know what helps me sleep at night?" Severus said in a silky whisper.

"What?" Remus breathed, his eyes locked onto Severus'.

"You," he said huskily, hugging Remus closer, and kissing him softly.

"I wish I could stay love, but I promised James and Sirius," he carefully made sure to say Sirius' name second," that I would help them with their homework."

Severus moved away and sat up. Remus pouted at the loss of contact. "Leaving me for Black again are you?" He couldn't mask the hurt and contempt in his voice, and even if he could, there was no mistaking it in his coal-colored eyes.

"I'm not leaving you Severus, I would never leave you." Remus states clearly.

"But…"

"No, there are no buts here Severus, I. Will. Never. Leave. You."

"There is a but, there always is when Black is involved. I don't trust him," he said sourly.

"Funny, he says the same thing about you." Remus pulled up his boxers, then his pants.

"I'm sure he does. Sometimes I believe he's trying to take you from me," Severus hissed.

"No one could ever take me from you, my love." He kissed him soundly on the lips, when they pulled back Severus was smiling. "I love you."

"I love you too." They kissed again, the kiss becoming more heated; Remus unfortunately had to break the kiss. He smiled apologetically, grabbed his shirt and shoes and left.

---End Flashback---

All these thoughts swam through Remus' head and he could hardly stand. He climbed onto the ramparts and sat, legs dangling over the edge. He could barely see the dark ground below. He kind of wished it was a full moon. He let go of all human emotions when he transformed. Although since this whole convoluted love triangle came to fruition he'd been hurting himself more and more in his wolf form; biting and scratching until he was guilt ridden, semiconscious, and laying in a pool of his own blood. Sirius and Severus both had noticed. Severus was horribly appalled and he worried himself into a fit every month. After the moon Severus would see to his wounds. Remus smiled remembering Severus' careful loving touch.

Sirius was remorseful, and insisted Remus had been hurting himself because of him. Remus tried to steer him from that line of thinking. If Sirius knew that he was part of the reason for Remus' self mutilation he would insist he was causing Remus harm and all of Remus' 'Anti-Suicide-Plans' would be unraveled. He would put on a brave face and hide all emotions away; it quickly became clear to him why he was sorted to Gryffindor. Whether or not Severus or Sirius could see past the happy façade Remus couldn't tell.

His problems exploded, and if possible were made worse in one day. Why he thought inviting both Severus and Sirius to his birthday party was a good idea he still doesn't know, and the thought often haunts him.

---Flashback---

Remus was excited to be turning sixteen. His small party was to be held in the recently discovered room of requirement; it was thought to be neutral ground. Severus was the first to arrive, and Remus welcomed him a chaste, but loving, kiss.

"Great decorating love," Severus said looking around at the room. It was decorated with blue streamers and balloons. There was a long table adorned with refreshments, including one very enticing bowl of punch, which was likely to be spiked as soon as the rest of the Marauders arrived. There was another small table in the corner of the room, which had a light blue table cloth, it was meant for presents, and there were some chairs for scattered seating. Soft music played in the back ground for ambiance.

Remus smiled at his lover, "thank the room, I merely requested this, it delivered and set it all up." Remus winked and kissed Severus' cheek.

Lily arrived shortly after, and gave Remus a quick kiss on the cheek in greeting. She placed her present on the table, and made short conversation with Severus about potions, and about him and Remus. She was very clever and had figured out months ago that they were together.

The next, and last to arrive, were Sirius, James, and Peter. James immediately stole Lily away from her conversation with Severus, and Peter sulked in a corner, unhappy that he wasn't the center of James' attention. Which left Sirius, Severus, and Remus staring at each other awkwardly.

"Nice decorating Remus," Sirius said with a smile, high-fiving his best friend.

"Thank you, I'm glad you could come..." Again, another awkward silence; this was going to be a long day.

They migrated over to the food table and began to nibble on arbitrary food. Severus and Sirius eyed each other wearily.

"Alright, I say it's present time!" Lily called standing by the gift table.

Remus smiled and walked over sitting directly behind the small pile of presents. He unwrapped the first and judging by Lily's encouraging smile, he reckoned he was unwrapping her gift.

Lily's endowment was a black velvet cloak. "Thank you Lily!" She kissed him on the cheek again. James' present was a small golden compass for his astronomy class. Peter got him a box of chocolates. "My favorite thank you Peter." Peter smiled a little at being mentioned in the conversation.

Remus had already opened Severus' present; in private of course. It was a golden ring incrusted with rubies. Severus must've saved up forever to be able to afford this, but it was so beautiful, Remus hardly felt guilty at all. He also thanked him_ properly_ for such a striking piece of jewelry.

Sirius passed him his gift. Remus chuckled at the poor wrapping. Upon unwrapping Remus discovered it was a book that Remus had had his eye on in Hogsmeade; he'd even had it inscribed with gold lettering. "Wow, Sirius, it's beautiful." Sirius smiled at him and gave him a hug. Severus scowled.

Sirius kissed him lightly, "Happy birthday Remus."

"Remus, a word," Severus growled. Remus nodded and followed Severus out of the room.

"What the hell was he trying to pull!?" Severus shouted as soon as the great doors were closed. Remus was sure he'd never seen his lover so irate.

"I have no idea what you're talking about Severus," he tried to say in soothing tones, but to no avail.

"He kissed you! Or have you already forgotten?" He hissed waspishly.

"It was just a birthday kiss –He meant nothing by it– Lily did the same thing," Remus replied so coolly you could've mistaken him for a Slytherin.

"I still don't trust him," Severus said losing some of his heated resolve.

"I love you, and only you." He kissed him soundly on the smooth lips he knew so well, and treasured so much. "Let's get back inside, and please –for me– try to be civil." The doors opened and Sirius stormed out.

"Are you two talking about me? Really, anything that can be said out here can be said in there," Sirius fumed.

"Black, you have no subtlety. Potter and Pettigrew are still blissfully unaware that Remus and I are together." He possessively put an arm around Remus' waist and hugged him close.

"I'd like to speak to Remus alone," Sirius said, and Remus knew that Sirius was praying for patience.

Severus snarled but Remus said, "shhhh," relaxingly and gave Severus a peck on the lips. Severus' eyes never left Sirius', clear loathing reflecting in both their eyes, black to grey, almost exact opposites, but still not quite. Severus reluctantly let go of Remus and stormed back inside.

"What were you talking about?" Sirius started before the door was fully closed.

"Nothing Sirius, it's nothing to worry, or get upset about." They heard the door slam.

"Humph," he hummed skeptically. "I just don't think it's right the way you two talk about me. I bet you don't even defend me," Sirius accused.

"Of course I do!" Remus said firing up.

"Snape just doesn't understand what I go through."

"He understands a lot more than you think."

Sirius snarled. "Nobody gets it, they couldn't possibly! Not even you completely understand, you said so yourself!" Sirius shouted, and Remus hugged him. Sirius rested his head on Remus' shoulder.

"Shhh," Remus cooed, petting his head gently. "Shhh, it's alright, I'm right here–"

"What the fuck!?" Remus jumped away from Sirius at the sound of Severus' incensed tone. "I come out here to tell you that Evans and Potter are worried and I see this! What the fuck was going on!?"

"Nothing, Severus, nothing was going on. He was in distress, I was trying to calm him down!" Remus cried seeing Severus reach for his wand, and Sirius mirror his actions.

"Humph, alright Remus I believe you, come back to the party." He wrapped his arms around Remus' waist, a bit tightly, and Remus smiled up at him, resting his head on his shoulder. All his nervous, and anxiety quelled as soon as Severus held him.

Sirius and Severus held their wands for the remainder of the party. Remus tried to get them to put them away but they were not budging on the subject. Remus spent the night with Severus, trying to convince him that Sirius was not trying steal him away, all was in vain.

---End of Flashback---

Things had been strained, well more so, after the party. Sirius had somehow managed to get his hands on a 'suicide chart', which listed the reasons, and ways to go about doing his 'method of choice'. Remus knew both of them were pressuring him into making a choice between them, and he felt as if he was being torn apart at the seams. Ultimately Severus snapped, and asked him in a haughty calm voice to make his choice.

Remus sighed to himself remembering the day he'd stopped putting it off, and made his choice. It killed a part of him to do it, but losing Severus would drive him to the depts of madness. He had made his choice only a week ago, or was it two? He had lost track of time, but regardless it still seemed like he had just done it. His heart stung at the memory.

----Flashback----

"I'm so sorry Sirius."

"No Remus, no please. Did _he_ put you up to this?! Why are you with someone who dictates your life like this?" Sirius sobbed, grabbing Remus by the shoulders.

"Sirius I'm sorry," Remus said, looking away. He shrugged Sirius' hands from his shoulders, and left. Before closing the door he saw Sirius fall to his knees, clawing at his arm to get a release from the pain, and Remus cried. Remus was usually quite calm, always trying to be in control of his emotions, not only to keep the werewolf raging inside of him in check, but he learned long ago that emotions can be used to manipulate and humiliate people. He loathed crying in public, everyone seemed so empathetic when someone cried openly, but they never truly gave a damn.

This was the first time since he was young that he cried outside the solitude of his own bedroom. He ran down the grand stairwell to the dungeons and straight into Severus' dorm.

Severus was warm and inviting; Remus could tell he felt guilty for causing Remus any sort of pain. Remus fell asleep in his lover's arms, nightmares plaguing his sleep.

----End of Flashback----

Remus savagely wiped his tears away. The werewolf had been especially careful to avoid Sirius. He spent his nights and eating hours with Severus. If Sirius and Remus had a class together he was try and sit on the opposite side of the room, away from Sirius.

The nightmares at night were becoming troublesome. In his dreams it was usually him standing in a deserted corridor of Hogwarts, Severus standing on one side pressed against the wall, and Sirius on the other, he too was pressed against the wall by some unknown force. He tried to speak to both, comfort both, for both of them were crying out, crying out to him. The screams from both often became too unbearable and he awoke with a start. Severus was always there, holding him, and kissing the top of his head. Though Remus never told him what his dreams contained.

During the day though, everything was working out rather well. Remus was relieved that their ended friendship –the thought still tugged at his heart– did not result in Sirius killing himself. Everything was working that is until one day when Remus and Severus passed Sirius in the hall, and everything went to hell.

----Flashback----

Remus and Severus were walking down the hall heading to the only class they had together besides potions: Arithmacy. They laughed at an inside they had made weeks ago, somehow it was still funny.

Suddenly Severus was knocked to the ground by someone pushing between them. Severus stood quickly just in time to hear, "watch where you're walking you great greasy git."

Severus sneered. "Come back and say that to my face Black. I must say you're the most cowardly Gryffindor I've ever met. You're families weak self preservation mindset must be rubbing off on you."

Sirius whipped around, wand drawn. "Coward did you call me Snape?" For the first time in weeks Remus got a good look at his former best friend. His skin was quite pale, and didn't have the same youthful glow it usually held. In fact he looked like he had a gray tinge to his once tanned skin. His eyes were sunken and his hair was lank and drooping. Gone was the boy who Remus envied for being so vivacious, he looked emaciated, haughtier– like the other members of the Black family.

_Actually, _Remus thought with a shudder, _he looks dead. _Sirius shot a spell at Severus who easily deflected it. _Sirius really is too weak to be fighting! And Severus is aware that Sirius has nothing left to lose! I've got to stop this! _"Guys stop, please!" Severus shot a blue spell that his Sirius in the chest, sending him to the ground.

"You're just angry," Sirius breathed trying to stand. "You're pissed because you know if you hadn't sunken your sickening claws into Remus first, he would be mine!"

Severus seethed, and sent Sirius back down onto his knees. Remus stepped in front of his lover. "Severus please, just let it go, it's over now."

"Oh yes, it is over, you made your choice Remus. I just can't fathom how you can stand fucking that slime ball. Tell me how many times do you have to shower after making love to _that_? Twleve, fifteen?"

Severus snarled, baring his teeth. Remus turned to Sirius. "Don't you dare say anything bad about him Sirius, he's wonderful to me, and he certainly isn't slimy."

"You must love being his lap dog Remus," Sirius viciously. Remus' anger was coursing though his veins. _How dare he!? _He pointed his wand right between the animagus' eyes. "Are you going to hurt me Remus? Kill me? Go ahead! It would be ironic now considering you're the one who, for so many months, was so against me killing myself. Why the sudden change of heart? Could it be your evil, ugly, manipulating boyfriend?!" Sirius sneered, and Remus dropped his wand, he stepped back shaking his head. He couldn't hurt Sirius even now that their friendship had ended. He still cared for him, his nightmares showed that much. He just couldn't hurt him. "Admit it _Lupin_, you're heartless."

Remus moved away from the two, still shaking his head, unconscious to his own actions. He turned and ran as fast as he could. His feet seemed to know where they were going, though Remus did not until he reached the stairwell of his destination, and everything was made clear to him.

---End Flashback---

That brings us to Remus Lupin standing on the parapet of the astronomy tower, looking down over the edge into the black abyss. He knew the two most important people in his life would not come to his aid until it was too late. Severus would defend Remus' honor and make Sirius pay for the horrid thing he said, and Sirius would take it, laughing manically all the while, hoping Severus would kill him.

This tearing feeling in his chest that was slowly driving him mad would cease momentarily. He simply couldn't live like this, now he knew how Sirius felt. He laughed humorlessly at the irony again. Remus took one big breath and jumped. It seemed like an eternity before the ground came up to meet him, and in that time he thought: _It's our choices that define us, and sometimes the people around us. The choices we make can drive a caring, loving boy to suicidal madness; or a shy intelligent boy to take on murderous, and frightening characteristics. Yes Remus had made his choice, and he didn't like how it affected Sirius and Severus, but at least he was free. Call him selfish, he'd agree with you. Call him a coward, and you'd be correct, but he made his choice, and he choose to be free. _

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A/N: This story, while grossly un-cannon, comes straight from my heart, and from some of my own personal experiences, and feelings. You may comment on how you feel Remus should've handled this situation, or another way he could've solved it. Tell me if you sympathize with Sirius or Severus more. Tell me, if you'd like, how you think each of them would of reacted to Remus' demise.

I implore you though, no flames, they kill what's left of my faith in humanity.


End file.
